growing pains

Growth, I’ve been thinking about it a lot. Why do we grow, how do we grow, how do we measure it, how do we grow and not be stagnant.

I also have some succulents (there’s a connection, I promise). I have never been a person who keeps plants alive. I thought I had to work harder and take better care of them, but it seemed like the harder I tried the quicker they died.

When I first moved down to GA (8 months ago this month!), I got some succulents half expecting them to die, and they were close to it. I watered them three times a week thinking I was taking great care of them and didn’t understand why they wouldn’t grow. I found out succulents are finicky and need to be in sunlight and don’t need a lot of water.

I moved them to my window sill and only water them on Fridays. Over the course of many months, they’ve started to flourish. Sometimes a petal will wilt and fall off, at first I was afraid I was doing something wrong and the plant was dying; it wasn’t, it was growing and letting go of parts of it that it no longer needed.

Many months ago one of my succulents lost a whole petal (I might have accidentally ripped it off I don’t remember, lol). I didn’t want to just throw it away, so I stuck the petal back in the dirt and forgot about it.

A couple weeks ago I was watering my succulents and saw that the little petal had sprouted a new little leaf! I felt more excited than a normal person probably would and potted it in its own pot so it can grow and become its own succulent.

As I was repotting my new plant, I realized I’ve been slowly learning through trial and error how to create the best environment for plants to grow. At first I did too much, giving them everything they didn’t need because I didn’t know any better. I over watered them and kept them in the dark because I didn’t know they needed light.

I think that’s what I’ve been doing to myself sometimes too.

These past 9 months being home from the World Race have been more trying and stretching than I ever would’ve guessed.

Part of me thought coming to Adventures would make everything easier, it didn’t. In a lot of ways it’s made things harder, but it’s also been a safe environment for me to learn for myself what it looks like to grow with the Lord. It’s been a very slow process of trial and error, just like those plants.

I thought to grow I needed to do things perfectly and couldn’t mess up, the truth is that I can (still learning this). I don’t need to drown myself in a lot of the things I thought I needed, I only need the portion the Lord set out for me. And I’ve been learning to bring things that were in darkness, to the light.

I’m trying to walk in more vulnerability, bravery and trust with the people I’m choosing to have around me, to know that I belong because I’m where the Lord has me, not because of the things I have to offer, to cultivate community and relationship. These things are dang hard and sometimes it feels like I’m not doing anything or making any progress.

While I was tending to my plants, the Lord told me they were a representation of me (and my relationship with him). He said we don’t measure growth from one day to the next. Instead he had me look back over the past 8 months and said “look at all the things you’ve been learning and choosing into, all the ways you’re stepping into your inheritance. Look at how you’ve grown.”

Why do we grow, how do we measure it, how do we not become stagnant?

Jesus is teaching me to measure growth over time, it’s not a one and done thing (dang). And we grow not for the sake of growth, but for the sake of relationship with the Father. As we grow, we drop things we don’t need, trusting that he has us and is pruning us for purpose; sometimes we drop things we do need, it’s ok, the Lord helps us pick them back up (relationships, disciplines, etc). 

As we grow we look more like the Father, we see more of his character and his heart for us, we become more of the person he’s created us to be, the person we already are. I believe that’s why we grow friends. At least that’s why I want to grow.

I’m thankful the Lord’s patient with me and knows exactly what I need (way more than me and plants, but I’m learning!).

It’s been a really dang hard season that’s also been really sweet. If you want to know more about specifics (things I’m growing in or letting go, things I’m learning about life, myself, and the Father, bringing things from darkness to light, inheritance) let me know! I’d love to get coffee or hop on the phone and share with you and hear about what you’ve been learning too.

All my love from Georgia,
Mack

ps. I have a new blog since coming on staff at adventures! If you want to read my blogs from the race, you can find them here: https://mackkraemer.theworldrace.org/